Thinking

Okay. Im not going to on my facebook tonight. Sigh. Theres so many people get Mara scholarship and im not one of them. Im jealous and sad. I didnt get it not because Im not good enough but because Im a chinese not a malay. I should have work harder last time. I knew im a chinese and i didnt work hard for it. My emotion carried my rational away. I shouldnt be focusing on love last time. I should focus on my studies. Okay peggy. Stop complaining and comparing. Excel in A Level and make your parents proud of you okay?

I never know Im that week. I just couldnt stand the pressure. Im so tensed. I need someone to talk with but yeah no one is going to be there for me. God please help me. I need you know :’(

Going to sleep early tonight cause i need to wake up damn early the next morning to send my sister to school. My phone’s battery went low again and Im so lazy to charge it. Have a little talk with my family tonight. We are out of money recently. My A Level depends on my spm now. Please God :(

Okay first and foremost i cant stop watching those CSI series. First Miami and now New York? Come on. Im so addicted on those right here right noww. I couldnt get enough of it. It was awesomeeeeeeeeee. Stop talking about drama n lets talk about driving. My driving skill was like &(“;°:%;%「)#)%/%@#%&*/ sucks. As in S.U.C.K.S!!! I always have the difficulties naik the bukit on the way to my house. Sadddddd.

Every night comes, I started to have difficulties in breathing. Could you give my life back?

MUHAMMAD AZRI BIM MOHAMMAD ARIS. I miss you. I miss you a lot. This life isnt easy without you. I really dont deserve all those shits you gave me. I want to forget about you and move on. It took months months already and why i still cant get you out of my mind. I know for religion you dumped me. I know you will never come back. But why I cant forget about you? If you know we will not be together in the end you shouldnt let me fall in love with you in the first place. Muhammad Azri i was serious in this relationship. I put my real feelings and i cant believe you just dump it like that. Like im worthless. I miss you. I love you. I dont know what to say anymore. Now we are just strangers with memories and it just hurt me so damn freaking much. I dont know how any tears that i have shed for you and im tired of crying. Lord. Jesus. Please help me to walk through this. Plwase. I dont know how much i can stand anymore.

For the one last time. I need you. I want you. Please dont leave me. :’( I still love you. A lot as I said and as I promised. 

First day of 2013 and im sick. This doesnt sound great to me.

I remembered years ago someone told me I should take caution when it comes to love, I did. You were strong and I was not. My illusion my mistake. I was careless I forgot, I did. And now, when all is done there is nothing to say. You have gone and so effortlessly. You have won, you can go ahead and tell them. Tell them all I know now. Shout it from the root top, write it on the skyline, all we have is gone now. Tell them I was happy, in my heart is broken, all my scars are open. Tell them what I hope would be impossible… Impossible…Impossible.. Falling out of love is hard, falling for betrayal is worst. Broken trust and broken heart, I know I know. Thinking all you need is there, building faith on love and words, empty promises will wear, I know I know. And now when is all gone there is nothing to say. And if you’re done with embarrassing me, on your own you can go ahead and tell them. Tell them all i know now, shout it from the roof top, write it on the skyline, all we have is gone now. Tell them i was happy and in my heart is broken, all my scars are open. Tell them what i hope would be impossible, impossible, impossible, impossible. I remembered years ago someone told me i should take caution when it comes to love, I did. Tell them all i know now shout it from the roof top write it on the skyline. All we have is gone now. Tell them I was happy and in my heart is broken, all my scars are open tell them what i hope would be impossible, impossible, impossible impossible.